I don't know where to begin complaining today, in this journal: my weight? Confidence? Finances? I'm sick of complaining. The purpose of complaining is what exactly? To garner sympathy from others? Support? In the form of agreement? And how does complaining help anyone? It is cathartic to express one's pain or discomfort, but unless you're seeking help from whomever you're complaining to, it's wasted air; and worse, people don't want to be associated, nevermind befriended, by complainers. So why do I do it? I've proven countless times in retrospect, that it never pays off. So should I stop entirely, or ease into it. God knows cold turkey usually fails. Slowly hold back when the urge to share problems arise. Shift the complaint to a question, if indeed it's a complaint worth resolving. If it isn't– if it's some menial thing like the weather or taxes – try to be conscious of this and change the subject entirely, or refocus onto the other person.
I'm no longer seeking a pat on the back in the form of shallow short-lived approval from others. I'm seeking instead a true interest and trusting me. The more interest you show in someone else, the more interested they'll be in you. Shift for me to you.
29 June 2013
26 June 2013
June 26, 2013
Finding correlations between mood and diet and accomplishments = more than anything, self control/discipline. The more I stick to my diet or accomplish my goals, the better I feel that day and the next but it only lasts one to 2 days. Then if I dropped the ball-i.e., eat excessively, drink excessively, skip work for Jim-the shittier I feel about myself. Feel-good factors:
- disciplined eating
- Eating before 8 PM (results in improved sleep too)
- working and training hard
- sticking to my diet
- helping others
Recently been falling off all the wagons–gym, eating, working. Losing motivation fast. Need to recharge, re-energize, but how? It used to be that I would look forward to the weekend and the weekend would re-energize me. Whether getting drunk with friends, hanging out with my girlfriend– I would be refreshed and satisfied by Monday. I no longer get that recharge. I have no friends, no woman, I don't enjoy drinking as much as before. I'm burned out and don't know how to recharge. How much further can I go on fumes? What do I change to re-energize? My tank is empty and no gas stations in sight. Have never felt so tired and sick of it all. Don't know how to ask for help. Help! The little I can do is discipline myself to stick to healthy diet/exercise/work hard. Is this how or why workaholics are formed?
Parado 80/20
21 June 2013
June 21, 2013
Last few days started feeling very depressed again and started to eat late, snacking insistently. Feel like shit due to a combination of the over heating/snacking and weather and loneliness. Self-confidence not improving. Weight going back up again. Possible causes: Break my first early lately(?), eating late, poor sleep. Feel like Im always taking one step forward and two steps back--too easy to take back steps forward steps getting easier. Correlation between mood/self-esteem and self control/discipline. When I'm eating healthy, tracking food, waking early, working hard-I feel better physically and emotionally. Solution: return to control heating eating and stop eating late.
Realize impatients is another cause of these feelings. Part of the anxiety or depression is due to unfinished projects or work, which I think is the result of my deliberate delays. If a project is big and requires much time/steps, the fact that I can't finish it sooner ( i.e., my impatience ) leads me to major procrastination, which leads to delays = Anxiety = Depression + Negative self talk. Solution: recognize this anxiety during big projects and reverses with positive talk + realization that anxiety is false.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)